Oh, change, and all the fun we have writing about it.

I'm cooped up in my room, listening to the squirrels chirp outside (yes, chirp), and watching too many movie trailers online. I'm also watching my last days at work quickly winding down and a much-needed change coming slower than I wanted. School looms around the corner and I've had too much time to anticipate it. But still I know September will come faster than I want while I watch two of my good friends moving away, one provinces away, and another continents away. I'll also have to close the book on a job that's been just as much a place of friends as it's been a wonderful learning experience. Not only that, but I'll be stepping out of a comfortable routine I've carefully nurtured since escaping high school. I have very specific expectations for school, but I also know that I have a lot of unknowns to encounter. I'm expecting growth and revelations, but at the same time, I'm learning to find joy in defeat. I have much more to learn, of which the most important will probably happen outside of class. I think school will become my new context, and new and old friends will take the place of the ones leaving and the ones I'm leaving, but I hope change won't become my excuse to "rediscover" life. That happens whether you're looking for it or not.

As much as life transitions are significant (and fun to anticipate), I think putting so much value on them takes the significance out of life. I have to remember that it's not where I've been, where I'm going, what I'm doing, and who I'm doing it with or for. I think it's more about how much I can relate to life immediately around me. Sometimes we seek change so that we have an excuse for tuning out of life when it seems to have expired around us.

Yes, I'm excited about change, but at the same time, I have to remember that you can't invest in change - you can only invest in your immediate surroundings. I think that's what I think. Well, at least, I know that's what I'm thinking now. My trains of thoughts might alter a bit once I'm chin-deep in school.

amillionmilesanhour

Bzzzzzzzzzzzz - I feel the two shots of espresso swimming in my veins. Garage Café on Provencher Boulevard is the best place in Winnipeg to have coffee. And, as I found out today, the best way to get a coffee buzz.

Woooow wired.

Watching Hot Fuzz tonight. Rhymes with buzz.

Off to pick up sushi. I'm spoiling my taste buds today!

les photos de ma semaine

Photography school is creeping around the corner. I can't wait. Partly because I won't have to work for a year, and will spend all my time doing, learning and swimming in photography, and partly because I will finally brush up on some much-needed skills.

I had a good practice week though. I got up at 4:50am on Monday to take sunrise pictures. Yes. I did. On my day off. And I even managed to convince another photo-bug to come along with me. The sun was pretty cool (huge red ball of fire at the horizon), and the subsequent shoot in a sunny sunflower field was fun. (not to mention breakfast at Starbucks in between. I got to see all the grumpy morning faces of the extra-early customers. It's pretty amusing.)

Tonight I took engagement pictures for a young couple. It's my third time doing an engagement shoot - and they're all the same: Girl's idea. Boy feels awkward. They manage to be lovey-dovey. And by the end they end up enjoying it. Though it's hard when you've got crowds of park-goers gawking and saying, "Oh, she must be a photographer." and then staring and studying the couple "doing their thing". All this while the couple's supposed to look like they don't feel like anyone's watching them. Not to mention the huge lens, and the curious ducks and even a poodle.

On the way home I picked up my roll of black and white pictures from Blacks. Finally! I got back into film, after almost two years of neglect as my digital camera took precedence. My film camera literally had collected dust. I'm so glad I whipped it out last month. Though I do see my need to go to photography school - composition was a little sucky, and the fact that Blacks was at all involved in the finished product makes me feel a little inferior as a photographer.

I never thought I'd ever look forward to school! I'm counting down the days...

parked

today i went to church in a park, with blankets, hot and iced tea, two different kinds of watermelon, four different kinds of muffins, thirty degrees of celcius, sixty two per cent of relative humidity, bug spray, one bush for a toilet, and three different kinds of people with each their own perspectives. Mesh that together and you have one enlightening moment with the universe, its Creator and all the little bugs that fly around picnics and crawl between blades of grass.

who?

In the past week and a half I've forgotten the name of three different people (to their face!). Ack. I hate that. The inevitable comes when I'm about to introduce who I'm with to the person I've just bumped into, and I start panicking, wondering if this time I'll forget the name again, and before I can even think about not thinking about it, I start fumbling for their name as my speech moves ahead without me, and starts the introductions - nameless. Shameful. I'm so happy when I bump into people I know but then I look like a complete idiot, having to ASK them what their name is. Wow. How insulting.

The worst is when the person calls me - says their name and our affiliation - and my mind still comes up blank. Who? "It's (name) from (place)." Who? *awkward laugh* "It's (name) from (place)." I'm sorry, who again? *mortification blush* "It's (NAME) from (PLACE)!"

Yes that was an actual conversation I had yesterday on the phone. Send me to social school or maybe I should eat more omega 3 fats. That memory-aid stuff you get from eating eggs. Yikes. And it's not like I can say that I'm good I recognizing people's faces either. I was at the lake last weekend and stared at a guy who was maybe or maybe not my hairdresser. The girlfriend gave me a bizarre look like "Who's the freak gawking at us". Now I can't wait to go for a haircut and confirm whether it was actually him or not! It'll appease my gimp mind. help.

Folked for life

This past weekend I made the discovery of a little diddy of a shin dig known as the Winnipeg Folk Festival. I-can't-believe-I've-never-gone-until-this-year. I only got to go for one day, and even though it was the winding down day, it still was good enough for me to never want to miss it again! The music was great, the dancing was fun, the people were warm and friendly, the food stands offered more choices than I could have ever wanted, and the porta-potties were surprisingly tolerably clean.

I made a new musical discovery, for which the 65 dollars I spent at the gate was finally justified - Final Fantasy (not the video game, but the great genius of Owen Pallett, that is). I ditched the main stage and 5 of us squeezed our way into the thick crowd of eager listeners to this incredible show. One dude with a violon, looping different melodies and rhythms, and his sidekick chick placing moving images on an overhead projector. What an experience. Loved it.

The first chance I got I scurried my way half way across the city to get my hot little hands on the cd. Mmm. Good music tastes good.

tough campers, we are

Camping is therapeutic. In a few senses... it pulls you out of the ordinary, mundane routine of city life, and throws you flat into the backwoods of life where you seldom expect to ride through. I got to relax, but I also was pushed to my physical and psychological limits by means of 2 excruciating hikes. I've gone camping and hiking a few times already, but for some reason, this past weekend was a test of my endurance and nerves! Hot, humid heat, super long hikes, heavy camera-gear-laden backpack, and infestations of woodticks was enough to certainly toughen me up. Well... maybe my fellow camp-mates might not say that I was toughened up (they might say that I was a basket case when dealing with an attack of woodticks), but it certainly pulled me out of my element and put me face to face with the harsh trials of the woods.

Sounds worse than it was... but all in all, I know it was good for me. I was stinky, sweaty, matty-haired and dirt-footed for a few days... and I learned that I don't think I could ever endure going to Africa. I am seriously reconsidering. As for bugs? I didn't know so many existed out in the woods of Manitoba! I can now say I picked ticks off my feet with my bare hands, and brushed my teeth at a sink sprinkled with dead (and half-dead) bugs, survived having a daddy long leg spider prancing around on my neck and crossed paths with a hognose snake. And I'm still alive! Miracle!

On another note, we had KILLER s'mores, a smokin' good fire (and firestarters. thanks ladies!), a nice tan, a comfy tent, and great company. The laughs and the no-limits conversations made it all worth-while. Who's in for next year!!?? (and now I know that you guys are all reading my blog! You sneaky anonymous readers, you...)