Oh, change, and all the fun we have writing about it.

I'm cooped up in my room, listening to the squirrels chirp outside (yes, chirp), and watching too many movie trailers online. I'm also watching my last days at work quickly winding down and a much-needed change coming slower than I wanted. School looms around the corner and I've had too much time to anticipate it. But still I know September will come faster than I want while I watch two of my good friends moving away, one provinces away, and another continents away. I'll also have to close the book on a job that's been just as much a place of friends as it's been a wonderful learning experience. Not only that, but I'll be stepping out of a comfortable routine I've carefully nurtured since escaping high school. I have very specific expectations for school, but I also know that I have a lot of unknowns to encounter. I'm expecting growth and revelations, but at the same time, I'm learning to find joy in defeat. I have much more to learn, of which the most important will probably happen outside of class. I think school will become my new context, and new and old friends will take the place of the ones leaving and the ones I'm leaving, but I hope change won't become my excuse to "rediscover" life. That happens whether you're looking for it or not.

As much as life transitions are significant (and fun to anticipate), I think putting so much value on them takes the significance out of life. I have to remember that it's not where I've been, where I'm going, what I'm doing, and who I'm doing it with or for. I think it's more about how much I can relate to life immediately around me. Sometimes we seek change so that we have an excuse for tuning out of life when it seems to have expired around us.

Yes, I'm excited about change, but at the same time, I have to remember that you can't invest in change - you can only invest in your immediate surroundings. I think that's what I think. Well, at least, I know that's what I'm thinking now. My trains of thoughts might alter a bit once I'm chin-deep in school.